“I Got a Problem with Shel Silverstein’s Unicorns” by Jamie-Sue L. Ferrell

Some time ago, Kitty Wells faced Hank,
And David Bowie was hit by Peter Schilling’s words that were frank;
The serve and the rally. On and on it goes,
And about the Unicorn, I offer my blows.

Silverstein wrote of green alligators and long-necked geese,
And loads of G-d’s creatures, some kind and some mean,
All did as they were told, save for one dealt the scorn,
The unruliest of all, those Unicorns.

As the story goes, a mulligan was needed.
Noah heard the L-rd, and to those words, he heeded.
A boat was slapped together, and before the world knew.
There stood before them the first ‘floating zoo’.

Compliant were the green alligators and long-necked geese,
And almost all the other animals willingly took their seats,
Friend and foe alike, all climbed aboard,
Except G-d’s ultimate favorite, those Unicorns.

No matter what they tried, those horses wouldn’t come,
To a different drummer, they took their beat from,
Maybe they loved something different, loved something bigger,
And after the years and years of neglect,
They’d rather float away from

All the Green alligators and long-necked geese,
The punches, stabs, and jabs, and damnations that didn’t cease,
“You’re not Straight, not White, not Straight-male, 
not Able-bodied, too;
Incapable, the Unicorn do.”

When that flood started, that even Gilgamesh knew,
The Unicorns were missing, what was Noah to do?
Doing the best they could, to have a good time.

Knowing full well, this was the end of their line.

“Good-bye green alligators and long-necked geese,
We’d rather not be here, the torments won’t cease.
The Ark it will not save us, the flood waters will do.”
To a Unicorn’s heart, it can only be true. 

As the menagerie went off, both the Men and the Beasts
Shel says that the Unicorns, they wailed in defeat,
And  they drowned and their bodies were washed clean away,
Now it’s my turn to see it another way.

Oh, there’s plenty of green alligators and long-necked geese,
But the Unicorns found a place with Love that was sweet,
It shouldn’t have been an option, but there was no other way,
That’s why Unicorns still struggle today.

Jamie-Sue L. Ferrell is Intersex, Noahide, and Left-Handed. She earns her living processing medical insurance claims while living in Muncie, Indiana. Her eclectic background includes undertaking, theology, and obsessing about the band Queen. 

Image: “2005-2007 Flag Football Uniform Shirt, or, How Did They Know but I Didn’t?” by Jamie-Sue L. Ferrell

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